| Word Count: 1,791 Estimated Read Time: 7 Min. |
Choose It and You’re There
The search for success and happiness is as old as time itself. People have been pondering what is the most direct path to success and happiness since before those terms were even really understood. Advances in academia and technology coupled with a deeper awareness of what constitutes a “good life” has led people to ask and try to answer what it takes to be successful and happy.
From psychologists to life coaches to scholars, these topics have been researched, discussed and written about ad nauseum. Opinions of how to achieve success and happiness have varied widely over time and across cultures and faiths. In fact, entire libraries could surely be filled with books, articles and research studies focused on answering that very question: ‘what is the best path to success and happiness?’
But it may be that all that wisdom and guidance could actually be boiled down to a few simple rules. And, those rules could probably be explained in just a couple dozen words or so. However, there is a very old story – which has been shared verbally, in writing and across the digital realm millions of times — that best illustrates the simple rules which are the foundation for success and happiness. First, the story. Here’s how it goes:
The Story of the Blind Woman
A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady was being moved into a nursing home. She was the kind of person who was fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coiffed and makeup perfectly applied, even though at this point in her life she was legally blind. The move was necessary because her husband of 70 years had recently passed away.
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when the nursing home attendant came to tell her that her room was ready. He was surprised to see she was in good spirits and not upset to have been kept waiting.
As she maneuvered her walker toward the elevator, the attendant began to tell her more about the nursing home facility and gave her a visual description of tiny room that would be her new home, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
“Well, I know you won’t be able to see the room, but I think you’ll find it comfy …. just wait,” he replied.
“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she told him. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged or what curtains are hung there. It’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.”
She went on, “Being happy – satisfied, content, delighted — is a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice. I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulties I have with the parts of my body that no longer work or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. I can spend the day lamenting the loved ones I’ve lost over the course of my life, or I can cherish the memories I have of them but spend my time getting to know the people around me so that they become dear to me as well. I can complain about the circumstances that have led to my current move or I can be glad to have a lovely and safe place to live and see this as a new adventure in the next chapter of my life.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day, choosing to be happy for what I have and where I am and grateful for all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.”
The Seven Rules to a Fulfilling Life
From that story, there are some important lessons and some basic rules to take away. Basically, in a world often defined by external pressures and societal expectations, the pursuit of success and happiness can seem elusive. However, the truth lies within ourselves – in our attitudes and choices. The key to unlocking a fulfilling life is not merely a matter of circumstance, but rather a conscious decision to embrace a positive mindset and live by certain principles.
To cultivate a life of success and happiness, consider these seven fundamental rules:
1. Free Your Heart from Hate, Bitterness, and Regret
Negative emotions like hatred, bitterness, and regret can consume our minds and drain our energy. By letting go of these burdens, we free ourselves to experience joy and positivity. It is a choice that every person can make, even the least among us.
Nelson Mandela, despite enduring years of imprisonment and racial injustice, emerged from adversity with a spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation. His ability to let go of hatred and bitterness allowed him to lead South Africa towards a brighter future. He never allowed the terrible things that were done to him become part of him.
2. Free Your Mind from Worries
Like bitterness or anger, worrying is a choice. But worrying about the future adds no value. It is a waste of time and energy to worry about what might be. It can paralyze us and prevent us from living in the present moment. Instead, one’s mantra should be: Never borrow sorrow from tomorrow. By focusing on the present and taking action on what is before us, we can alleviate anxiety and find peace of mind.
Steve Jobs, a visionary entrepreneur, was known for his intense focus and unwavering belief in his ideas. He didn’t dwell on potential failures or what might happen. Instead, he embraced challenges as opportunities for growth, even when he was fired from the visionary company he created, Apple. Instead, he went on to create Pixar, another amazing business that continues to thrive today.
3. Live Simply
Simplicity allows us to appreciate the small things in life and reduce stress. By decluttering our lives, we create space for what truly matters. This is not just about material things and wealth. It is also about how time is spent; not sweating the small stuff.
Warren Buffett, one of the world’s wealthiest individuals, lives a remarkably simple life. He prioritizes spending time with family and friends over material possessions. His corporate headquarters is a one-story building in Omaha, Nebraska. He spends most of his time every day just researching and reading about companies, not jet-setting around the world. His home is modest by comparison with other billionaires. And he eats the same breakfast every weekday, an Egg McMuffin.
4. Give More
Giving to others brings immense joy and fulfillment. Acts of kindness can have a ripple effect, positively impacting the lives of others. And it makes us feel really good about ourselves. It definitely amps up happiness.
That may explain why Bill Gates and Melinda Gates have dedicated their lives to philanthropy, using their wealth to address global issues like poverty, disease, and climate change. And speaking of giving, Warren Buffet is also choosing to “give more.” He is leaving most of his personal wealth to charities, not his family. People who can literally have or buy anything they want find that what brings them the most happiness is giving to others. There’s food for thought.
5. Expect Less
Expectations can be dangerous. It sets the bar for what “should be.” When that is applied to most any situation or interaction, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Lowering expectations can lead to greater satisfaction. By avoiding unrealistic expectations, we can appreciate what we have and avoid any letdowns.
Oprah Winfrey, a media mogul and philanthropist, often emphasizes the importance of gratitude and living in the present moment. She has credited her success to her ability to remain grounded and appreciative of her blessings. And as Tom Magliozzi, co-host of NPR’s “Car Talk” show, said, “Happiness is reality minus expectations.”
6. Be Content With What You Have
Gratitude is a powerful tool for happiness. By focusing on the positive aspects of our lives, we can cultivate a sense of contentment and peace. Feeling content is a matter of choice. Even people who live in thatch huts and dirt floors can be happy if they choose to be content with what they have instead of always demanding more. When it comes to happiness, less is more.
Case in point. Drew Houston, the co-founder of Dropbox, has often spoken about the importance of work-life balance and avoiding burnout. He has emphasized the importance of being grateful for what he has, even as he grew his business into a global leader. Despite the success of Dropbox, Houston remains grounded and focused on building a sustainable and meaningful business.
Anita Roddick, the founder of The Body Shop stores, was a big believer in being content with what she had. As part of that satisfaction, she was a passionate advocate for ethical business practices and social responsibility. She lived a modest lifestyle and used her wealth to support environmental and social causes. Even as she built a global fashion empire, she remained committed to her core values and focused on making a positive impact on the world. Her business grew because customers loved her products, but not because she was after more money, power and acclaim. As she put it, “It is possible to be glad for what you have even as you lead and grow a business.”
7. Enjoy Every Moment
It is important to savor the present moment and fully experience life. And it is a choice. By paying attention to our thoughts and feelings, we can increase our overall well-being. Even situations that most would deem harsh can have a silver lining, if one chooses to find it. That’s because no event or situation is ever all good or all bad. The best moments in life can have challenges. And the worst moments in life can have redeeming aspects.
Tony Robbins, a motivational speaker and life coach, emphasizes the power of the present moment. He encourages people to live with intention and focus on what truly matters. If we choose to treat each day as “the present” (the present moment and as a present or gift), then we are sure to live much happier lives and that is likely to attract more achievement and success.
By embracing those seven rules – those 28 words — it is possible to cultivate a life of success and happiness, regardless of our external circumstances. There it is… the pathway to success and happiness. Enjoy.
Quote of the Week
“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
Abraham Lincoln
© 2024, Keren Peters-Atkinson. All rights reserved.
