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The Secret to Success:  Acting in the Service of Others

People deeply want two things in life: to be successful and to be happy.  And so much is said about the relationship between happiness and success.  Are they correlated or does one cause the other?  Are they mutually exclusive or inextricably connected?  Or are there some other variables impacting both?

Do Happiness & Success Go Together?

Happiness and success are often discussed almost as if it were a tug-of-war.  At one end of the spectrum are those who think you cannot be happy unless you’re successful and you cannot be successful unless you’re happy.  They argue that the two are inextricably connected and dependent.  On the other end of the spectrum are those who believe it’s near impossible to find people who are both truly happy and successful.  They argue that one usually cancels out the other. 

So which is correct? To answer this, it’s important to understand the nuances of this relationship. Yes, some say that you can’t be truly happy unless you’re successful, and conversely, you can’t be truly successful unless you’re happy. This is based on the idea that success leads to happiness, and that happiness is a necessary ingredient for success.

However, research has shown that the relationship between happiness and success is more complex than that.  Yes, it’s true that happy people tend to be more successful and truer that successful people tend to be happier.  That might suggest there is a bidirectional relationship between the two. In other words, happiness can lead to success, and success can lead to happiness.  It implies at least a correlational if not causational relationship.

There are several reasons why this is believed. For one thing, happy people tend to be more optimistic, resilient, and motivated, all of which are important qualities for success. Additionally, happy people tend to have better social relationships, which can provide support and encouragement. On the other hand, successful people may be happier because they’ve achieved their goals, typically have a sense of purpose, and usually feel good about themselves.

At the other end of the spectrum are those who argue quite the opposite.  They don’t think success and happiness can co-exist for long, if at all.  They argue that one typically cancels out or repels the other and thus they are ultimately mutually exclusive.

There are several reasons why this might be presumed. The pursuit of success can be stressful and demanding. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, frustration, and burnout.  Success can also lead to unrealistic expectations. Once people achieve success, they may feel pressure to maintain it, which can be stressful and can ruin relationships. And, success can be isolating. Successful people often find it difficult to connect with and be genuine with others who are not as successful. The more successful they are, the smaller their inner circle gets and the less happy they feel. 

The most important reason why some believe that success and happiness are mutually exclusive is because success is often fleeting. People who achieve success often find that it doesn’t last forever.  Athletes get old.  Celebrities become has-beens.  Politicians get voted out.  Businesses go under.  Leaders get replaced.  This can lead to feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction.  The moment a person’s success peaks, and they feel utterly happy, the tide turns and things shift.  Either their success and/or their happiness vanishes.

Selfless Service Leads to Success and Happiness

Of course, happiness and success are not the same thing. Happiness is a subjective experience that is influenced by a variety of factors, including our personality, our relationships, and our circumstances. Success, on the other hand, is often defined in terms of our achievements and accomplishments. While the two are related, they are not the same thing.  But they are influenced by many of the same factors.

One key to one’s happiness and success starts with acts of service.  Throughout history, sages and scholars from diverse cultures have echoed a profound truth: the key to unlocking both success and happiness lies in the act of selfless service to others. According to Dr. Albert Schweitzer, a famous physician, theologian and humanitarian, “The only ones among you who will be truly happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”  This principle, though simple, has been repeatedly validated by countless individuals and societies.

What Does ‘Acting in the Service of Others’ Mean?

“Acting in the service of others” encompasses a broad spectrum of actions, from small acts of kindness to grand philanthropic endeavors. It’s about putting the needs and well-being of others before one’s own, driven by a genuine desire to make a positive impact on the world. This could involve volunteering time, donating to charitable causes, mentoring others, or simply offering a helping hand to those in need.  

Acts of Service Lead to Success

The correlation between selfless service and success might seem counterintuitive, but it’s rooted in profound psychological and social principles.  Selfless service:

1. Enhances reputation. Acts of kindness and generosity build a strong reputation, attracting opportunities and positive relationships.  
2. Improves relationships. Serving others fosters deeper connections with people, leading to stronger bonds and a supportive network.  
3. Increases motivation. Helping others can inspire and motivate individuals to strive for greater things.  
4. Fosters a sense of purpose.  A sense of purpose and meaning derived from serving others fuels drive.  Doing good spurs oneself and then others to do more.  Work harder. 
5. Boosts creativity and problem-solving skills.  Addressing the needs of others often requires innovative solutions.  This hones one’s ability to troubleshoot and innovate to meet a need.

Acts of Service Leads to Happiness

Serving others and putting others first makes you feel good.  But why?  The link between selfless service and happiness has been researched and is well-documented.  Acting in the service of others causes:

1. Neurochemical gains in the body.  Acts of kindness trigger the release of endorphins and oxytocin, hormones associated with pleasure and well-being.  
2. Self-worth to increase. Helping others boosts self-esteem and a sense of accomplishment.  Plain and simple, doing good feels good.
3. A reduction in stress.  Focusing on the needs of others can alleviate personal worries and anxieties.  It takes one’s mind off “me” and focuses attention outward. That helps one gain perspective. 
4. A surge of positive emotions: Acts of service often evoke gratitude, compassion, and joy.  Even in tough times, those feelings can be the boost that fuels drive and determination.
5. Social connections to grow.  Serving others strengthens social bonds, which is a key factor in success and happiness.  

Acting in the Service of Others at Microsoft

Case in point.  Satya Nadella, the CEO of Microsoft, is a prime example of a business leader whose focus on acting in the service of others has propelled him to great success and happiness. Nadella’s leadership philosophy is centered around empathy, collaboration, and a genuine desire to empower others.

His dedication to serving others stems from his personal experiences and values. Nadella has often spoken about the importance of humility, gratitude, and the power of human connection. His upbringing in India, where he witnessed firsthand the challenges faced by many, instilled in him a strong sense of empathy and social responsibility.  It also shaped his leadership style. 

Indeed, his authentic leadership transformed Microsoft into a more innovative and customer-centric company. By fostering a culture of empathy and collaboration, he empowered employees to take risks and think creatively in helping to serve their customers.  This has led to significant product innovations and increased market share.  Nadella’s focus on serving others has earned him respect and admiration from employees and customers alike. His leadership approach has fostered a positive and supportive work environment.  By his own admission, it has contributed to his own success, happiness and sense of fulfillment.

This demonstrates the power of selfless service. By prioritizing the needs of others, Nadella not only achieved remarkable business success but also a deep sense of personal satisfaction. His example serves as an inspiration to leaders and individuals alike, showing that true leadership is about empowering others and making a positive impact on the world.

The Paradox of Self-Serving Behavior

Given the undeniable benefits of selfless service, it’s perplexing why many people prioritize self-interest. To what can this paradox be attributed? There are several factors that push people toward self-interest over acting in the service of others.  The first is immediate gratification.  While the rewards of service may take time to manifest, people jump at short-term gains.  Another is the scarcity mindset.  For businesses, this fear that there isn’t enough business to go around causes leaders to act selfishly.  It can lead to hoarding resources and opportunities and hindering generosity.  Another reason people give in to ego-driven behavior is this desire for recognition, praise and achievement.  The need for validation can completely overshadow the value of acting in service to others.  This is especially true in some cultures more than others.  In the U.S., for example, individualism and competition are heavily emphasized and altruism is discouraged. 

Ultimately, self-serving behavior can undermine both success and happiness. By neglecting the needs of others, individuals may miss out on valuable opportunities, damage their relationships, and experience a diminished sense of fulfillment.

In that relentless quest for both success and happiness, the key to both is embracing a mindset of service.  Anyone can unlock the doors to both success and happiness and create a more fulfilling and meaningful life for themselves and those around them, by first and foremost acting in the service of others.

Quote of the Week

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

© 2024, Keren Peters-Atkinson. All rights reserved.