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Why Social Skills are Increasingly Important in the Age of AI

‘Social skills’ is one of those fluff terms that is often secretly viewed as unnecessary for leadership or success.  There are certainly examples of business leaders who were wildly successful and had limited social skills.  Case in point:  Steve Jobs.  An assessment of Steve Jobs’ personality traits includes innovative, determined, independent, bold, creative, dominant, charismatic, passionate, non-traditional, confident, ambitious, rebellious, bossy, aggressive, perfectionist, detailed, intelligent, revolutionary, open, conscientious, daring, perseverant, energetic, enterprising, and self-motivated.  Many of these traits – such as confident, bold, conscientious and perseverant — are positive and contribute to what made him a business genius and huge success as founder of Apple, NEXT and Pixar.  But some of his other traits – such as bossy, aggressive, rebellious, and dominant – also made him a very difficult to work with and for.  Jobs needed to be in charge and had a reputation of being a tyrannical micromanager. He was strong, forthright, determined, and able to influence others, but he moved very quickly and very rarely delegated jobs to others. 

Indeed, as a boss, Jobs was a hot-headed nightmare.  He had the reputation of being a foul-tempered manager throughout his life, not just during his time at Apple.  As early as 1987, the New York Times wrote: “By the early 1980’s, Mr. Jobs was widely hated at Apple. Senior management had to endure his temper tantrums. He created resentment among employees by turning some into stars and insulting others, often reducing them to tears. Mr. Jobs himself would frequently cry after fights with fellow executives”.  Twenty years later, NY Times writer Michael Wolff described Jobs and that assessment was little different: “There’s the mercurialness; the tantrums; the hours-long, dictator-like speeches; the famous, desperate, and transparent hogging of credit; and always the charismatic-leader complex […], through which he has been able to seduce and, subsequently, abandon so many of the people he’s worked with. He may be as troubled and unsocialized a figure in American business life as anyone since Howard Hughes.”  (Indeed, Hughes was also described as lacking social skills.)

Even Jobs’ own statements show an undercurrent of disregard for social skills.  He once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”  He had a strong need to act independently of others or of social values and expectations. He notoriously ignored customer feedback in favor of his own vision and insisted that “people didn’t know what they wanted until he showed them.”  It may have made him a huge success, but it also led to his being fired from Apple. 

While social skills may not have been that important 20, 40 or 100 years ago, as evidenced by the success of leaders like Steve Jobs or Howard Hughes, these skills are becoming critically important today and for the future.  At a time when everyone is talking about AI – intelligence that is artificial – it is becoming increasingly obvious that what people will really need to survive in the future business world is EI – intelligence that deals with human emotions.  In fact, Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a key buzzword in today’s professional world.  This is especially true thanks to 21^st century factors such as social media, cancel culture and quiet quitting.

Social Skills is Much More Than Cotton-Candy Charisma

EI is comprised of 15 core facets including self-awareness, empathy, social skills, self-control, motivation, managing emotions, internal motivation, customer relationship management, asking a question, leadership, strong communication skills, showing genuine interest in others, and learning.  And, often, self-awareness, motivation and self-regulation take center stage. But, in business, there’s a crucial piece of the EI puzzle that is quintessentially important: social skills.

Unfortunately, social skills are often misunderstood as a facet of EI.  It sounds like fluff and nonsense.  People are described as having great social skills if they are cheerful, positive, upbeat and chatty.  But that is derisive of what social skills entail.  In the context of EI, social skills go beyond making pleasant and polite conversation. They encompass the ability to understand and navigate the complex tapestry of human emotions and interactions. It’s about building rapport, fostering collaboration, and effectively influencing others.

While there’s no single definitive list, some of the traits that comprise “social skills” include:

• Conflict Resolution – The ability to navigate disagreements constructively and find solutions that work for everyone involved.
• Teamwork – The ability to collaborate effectively, share ideas, and work towards a common goal.
• Leadership – The ability to inspire and motivate others, delegate tasks effectively, and build trust.
• Active Listening – Truly giving someone your full attention and understanding their perspective.
• Verbal Communication – Clearly and concisely expressing your thoughts and ideas while tailoring them to your audience.
• Nonverbal Communication – Understanding and utilizing body language and facial expressions effectively.

Based on that list, it might seem that “social skills” is just an amalgamation of all the other facets of Emotional Intelligence. But it depends on who is interpreting the term.  For example, social skills are a cornerstone of mental health. To a psychologist, they allow individuals to build strong relationships, manage stress, and navigate social situations effectively. But when it comes to social skills in business, it takes on a slightly different meaning. 

Business and Social Skills: A Different Language?

Although universally important, social skills take on a particular significance and flavor in the business world.  While basic courtesy remains important, business social skills focus on building professional relationships, fostering trust with colleagues and clients, and navigating office politics. In the workplace, good social skills contribute to:

1. Connection / Networking – Building and maintaining strong professional relationships inside and outside the organization.
2. Job Satisfaction / Reduced Turnover – Collaborating effectively, sharing ideas, working toward a common goal and resolving conflicts all require strong social skills.
3. Negotiation/Problem Solving – Striking mutually beneficial deals, finding win-win solutions, and persuading others while maintaining positive relationships.
4. Influence – Guiding others’ thoughts and actions in a positive and constructive way.

Managers and HR professionals view the value of social skills differently.  Effective managers need to motivate teams, delegate tasks, and provide constructive feedback.  To managers, strong social skills in themselves and others means they can create a positive work environment, build trust with employees, and foster collaboration.  But Human Resources professionals look for candidates who can seamlessly integrate into the existing team dynamic when hiring.  To HR, candidates with strong social skills indicate their ability to learn, adapt, and contribute effectively.

Why Social Skills Matter More and More

Social skills are becoming increasingly important.  That’s because they go to the very nature of work today. Collaboration, not solo work, is the engine of innovation and productivity.  This will be increasingly true in the future, as companies look at ways of crossing diverse skills and areas of knowledge to come up with innovative solutions to complex problems.  In the workplace, social skills are human interaction skills; how to read a person’s mood, how to read their body language, how to be patient until the moment is right to make or press a point.

Strong social skills allow individuals to:

Build Trust and Rapport: People are more likely to share ideas openly and work effectively with someone they trust and feel comfortable with.  That happens more with people that have strong social skills.

Foster Effective Communication: Clear communication ensures everyone is on the same page, leading to fewer misunderstandings and wasted time.  This is the cornerstone of the social skills package.

Resolve Conflicts Constructively: Social skills aid in navigating disagreements professionally and finding solutions that work for all parties involved.  Those with strong social skills are able to disarm and find areas of agreement.

Embrace Diverse Perspectives: Effective social skills enable individuals to listen to and value different perspectives, sparking greater creativity and problem-solving. 

And, because of AI, social skills will shine brighter.  As Artificial Intelligence (AI) takes over more and more routine tasks, the human advantage will lie in our ability to connect, collaborate, and inspire. AI can analyze data and complete tasks efficiently, but it lacks the human touch necessary to build strong relationships, understand emotional nuances, and navigate complex social situations.  Social skills will become the differentiator, the secret sauce that sets humans apart from machines.

Leaders by Example: Masters of Social Interaction

History is filled with examples of leaders whose success hinged on their social skills:

• Nelson Mandela – Mandela was renowned for his ability to build bridges between opposing factions and foster reconciliation.
• Indra Nooyi – Former CEO of PepsiCo, Nooyi is credited with her collaborative style and talent for building strong relationships across diverse cultures.
• Barack Obama – Political supporters and detractors alike have recognized Obama’s charisma, communication skills, and ability to inspire others.
• Satya Nadella – Microsoft’s current CEO transformed the company by focusing on collaboration and customer-centricity. His strong communication skills and ability to inspire teams have been key drivers of Microsoft’s recent success.
• Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand – Known for her empathy and strong communication skills, Ardern fostered unity during the Christchurch terror attack.

Of course, the flip side is that there have also been many leaders who missed the mark when it comes to social skills.  Besides Steve Jobs’ abrasive personality and Howard Hughes’ social isolation and eccentric behavior (which ultimately hindered his ability to run his vast empire), there have been others.  Carly Fiorina, former CEO of Hewlett-Packard, was criticized for being overly aggressive and lacking empathy.  It led to her departure.  And, Elizabeth Holmes, former CEO of Theranos, became known for her inability to build trust with investors and partners which contributed to her downfall, indictment and ultimate conviction.  These examples highlight the stark difference social skills can make in a leader’s ability to build trust, foster collaboration, and ultimately achieve success.

Social Skills: A Universal Currency

Social skills are not just for leaders; they are essential for every working person. In a world increasingly reliant on teamwork and collaboration, individuals with strong social skills are more likely to be seen as valuable assets. They can build stronger relationships with colleagues and clients, navigate office politics more effectively, and ultimately achieve greater career success.

As the world of work continues to evolve, the importance of social skills will only grow. Honing these abilities will equip individuals not only to thrive in a collaborative environment but also to adapt and succeed in the face of technological advancements.

Quote of the Week

“Empathy and social skills are social intelligence, the interpersonal part of emotional intelligence. That’s why they look alike.” Daniel Goleman

© 2024, Keren Peters-Atkinson. All rights reserved.