Boosting Emotional Intelligence Skills

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When companies hire staff, what qualities and abilities are most desirable?  Typically, “intellectual aptitude” is considered important or even essential.  People want to hire the best and brightest.  But what about emotional aptitude?   Is that essential?  And which matters more, intellectual aptitude or emotional abilities?  Most would prioritize intellect.  No doubt intelligence is important.  After all, there is a reason IQ tests were created.  It’s why organizations like Mensa exist.

For those who don’t know Mensa, it is a non-profit organization and the largest and oldest high-IQ society in the world.   It is open to people who score at the 98th percentile or higher on a standardized, supervised IQ or other approved Intelligence Quotient (IQ) test.  IQ tests measure a person’s ability to reason using logic.  They evaluate memory, pattern recognition, and problem-solving capabilities, as well as speed in doing so.  To be in Mensa, the minimum accepted score on the Stanford–Binet is 132 and, on the Wechsler tests (WAIS, WISC) it is 130.  That’s because most IQ tests are designed to yield a mean score of 100 (the average IQ score) with a standard deviation of 15.  Under those conditions, the 98th-percentile score is 130.8.  Many consider it a boast-worthy honor to be a member of Mensa.  It indicates the person can reason using logic better than roughly 98% of the general population. Clearly intelligence matters a lot, especially at work.

However, what many are not aware of is that there is another type of intelligence that is not based on ability to reason using logic.  It is based on the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s emotions while navigating those of others.  This ability varies from person to person and is measured by the person’s emotional quotient or EQ.  Like IQ, there are tests that measure EQ.

The Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test (MSCEIT) and the Emotional Quotient Inventory (EQ-i 2.0) are considered two of the most accurate and scientifically-validated emotional intelligence (EI) tests. The MSCEIT is based on the four-branch model of EI and measures a person’s ability to perceive, use, understand, and manage emotions. The EQ-i 2.0 is based on the five-domain model and assesses self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal skills, decision-making, and stress management.  But, unlike IQ, Emotional Intelligence is one of those “soft skills” that is often undervalued and overlooked. 

Understanding Emotional Intelligence

So what skills does EQ include?  As EQ tests allude, there are various facets of emotional intelligence including self-awareness, empathy, social awareness, emotional regulation, and relationship building.  While 50 years ago, few would have considered emotional intelligence important, today EQ is growing in importance.  As the world moves deeper into the Age of Artificial Intelligence — and the ability to reason using logic is increasingly relegated to machines — EQ skills are gaining in importance.  That’s because high EQ is needed in order to collaborate, create, innovate and work with others to solve problems.  Few jobs in the future will be done in isolation. 

Even in today’s business environment, the technical skills that might have helped someone secure their first few promotions might not guarantee the next one.  Anyone who aspires to be in a leadership role must have a high level of emotional intelligence.  EQ is what helps a manager or leader to successfully coach teams, manage stress, deliver feedback, and collaborate with others.

The bad news is that there is a growing concern that increasing reliance on technology might be inadvertently eroding natural emotional intelligence.  Constant digital communication, while offering convenience, limits opportunities for face-to-face interaction, where crucial non-verbal cues and the nuances of emotional expression are more readily apparent. The curated and often idealized portrayals of life on social media also hinders the ability to develop realistic expectations and empathize with the struggles of others. Furthermore, the instant gratification and constant stimulation of the digital world can potentially diminish one’s capacity for patience, self-reflection, and deep connection.

This potential erosion of emotional aptitude has significant implications for the future workforce. As machines become increasingly adept at tasks requiring logic, analysis, and data processing, human workers who lack strong emotional intelligence may find themselves in a precarious position. They will possess neither the superior computational power of AI nor the uniquely human ability to connect, empathize, and navigate complex social dynamics.

Boosting EQ

But all is not lost.  The good news is that, like IQ, one’s Emotional Intelligence can be improved.  Some effective strategies for enhancing emotional intelligence include:  

• Make time to Self-Reflect – The first step is to regularly examine your own emotions, understanding their triggers, and analyzing reactions to different situations.  This helps you handle emotions better. Journaling can be a powerful tool for this.  Take time to record and reflect daily on how your emotions influenced decision-making, interactions and meetings.
  
  Many business leaders prioritize self-reflection to regulate emotions.  The late Peter Drucker — the Austrian American management consultant, educator, and author, whose writings contributed to the philosophical and practical foundations of modern management theory — emphasized the importance of following action with emotional self-reflection, and then using the insights gained from self-reflection to lead to more effective action.   Also, former US President Barack Obama publicly emphasized the importance of reflection and journaling in his leadership.
  
  
• Get Feedback – Another approach is to actively solicit insights and constructive criticism from trusted colleagues, friends, or mentors to gain insights into how one’s behavior impacts others.  Coaching and therapy are also helpful to gain insights into emotions and triggers.
  
  To see just how valuable this strategy can be, one need only look at Ray Dalio, an American billionaire and co-Chief Investment Officer of the world’s largest hedge fund, Bridgewater Associates since 1985.  With a net worth of $14 Billion and ranked in 2020 by Bloomberg as the world’s 79th-wealthiest person, Dalio is perhaps the most prominent example of someone who actively solicit insights and constructive criticism from trusted colleagues and employees to gain insights into his emotional blind spots.  This was due to his philosophy of “Radical Transparency” and “Radical Open-Mindedness” outlined in his book Principles.  He built Bridgewater Associates to have a culture where candid criticism about personal weaknesses and emotional blind spots is not just encouraged but systematized through tools and regular feedback sessions.  Now 75 years old, he still actively seeks criticism to overcome his own biases and emotional reactions.  This approach may not be the sole reason for his incredible success, but it surely has helped.
  
  
• Practice Empathy – Yet another strategy to boost EQ is to consciously try to understand the perspectives and feelings of others, even when disagreeing with them. This involves active listening and putting oneself in their shoes.  This is a particularly challenging task for anyone who is convinced they are the smartest person in the room… or in any room.  But the reality is that IQ and EQ have little in common.  These aptitudes are not codependent or connected.  A person can have a soaring IQ and have a normal or even low EQ.  So stepping into “another person’s moccasins” requires humility and open-mindedness, other important soft skills. 
  
  
• Develop Self-Regulation – Also, learning to manage one’s emotions effectively, especially in stressful situations, is another way to boost emotional intelligence. Techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, counting to ten in supercharged situations, etc. can be helpful.  
  
  
• Improve Social Skills – It also helps to actively work on improving communication, refining the ability to resolve conflict, and getting better at building rapport with others. Paying attention to non-verbal cues and practicing assertive communication are key.  
  
  Case in point.  Ed Catmull, Co-Founder of Pixar and Former President of Pixar and Walt Disney Animation Studios, wrote in his book Creativity, Inc about collaboration by the “Braintrust” at Pixar.  Focused on creative feedback for films, the process required participants (trusted Directors and Story Leaders) to deliver and receive candid, sometimes difficult, criticism constructively. This necessitated a high degree of emotional intelligence and self-awareness to navigate egos and vulnerabilities effectively, implicitly requiring leaders to be open to feedback on how they managed these sensitive dynamics.  He fostered an environment where understanding emotional responses was key to honest critique.  Refining those social skills and raising everyone’s emotional intelligence contributed directly to Pixar’s success.
  
  
• Implement Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices enhance self-awareness and emotional regulation by focusing on the present moment and cultivating a non-judgmental observation of one’s thoughts and feelings.

Workers who will thrive in the age of intelligent machines are those who will be able to leverage their emotional intelligence to complement and augment technology. They will be the leaders who can inspire and motivate teams, the innovators who can understand and respond to human needs, the collaborators who can build strong relationships and navigate complex interpersonal landscapes, and the customer service professionals who can build trust and loyalty through genuine connection.

As machines continue to advance in their ability to process information and even mimic certain aspects of human behavior, the core of emotional intelligence – the capacity for genuine feeling, empathy, self-awareness, and meaningful connection – will not only grow in importance but also remain firmly within the human domain. Cultivating and strengthening these soft skills is not just a personal benefit; it is the most valuable investment any individual can make to ensure their relevance and success in a future where the unique power of human emotion will be more crucial than ever before. The untouchable advantage lies not in our ability to compute, but in our capacity to connect, understand, and truly feel.  Having a high EQ is a soft skill that will only become ever more valuable over time.

Quote of the Week
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”
Dr. Daniel Goleman, Clinical Psychologist & Author

© 2025, Keren Peters-Atkinson. All rights reserved.